The Secret Garden

There are many creatures in my Secret Garden the place where only my dear friends are invited.

Winter White

Weddings are so beautiful. Vows are made and the angels look on in celebration.

Pretty in Blue

These two models are sisters. I will find them and post the link. I just love the tenderness between them. I have 3 daughters and this one was done for them.

What the heck

This is one of my favourites. There are times when I wish I could dress up, play the fool and ...what the heck.

Escape

The background that I used for this picture was taken at Disney World. There was a beautiful pool of water,  so pretty, clear blue water with beautiful flowers all around the edge. On that particular holiday there was a lot of tension and the only way that I could deal with the impending doom was to fantasize... I often do that.

Kaylene

Kaylene is a friend of mines daughter. She has just finished Matric and has now gone off to university. I did this picture for her when she turned 18. My thoughts while I was doing it were that now that she has finished school and is going out in to the big wide world she needs all the trimmings to wish her well on her journey through adulthood.

Letting go.

And so... I let go of anger, hatred, unforgiveness... the past.

Looking Back

Looking back, over my shoulder, I never wanted to say good bye.

Dance like no one is watching

Oh how many nights I wanted to dance, to be free, run wild and not care about anything at all except to be free.

Life is a stage

My life was simply a role I played, but there was no truth in who I was. For all occassions I played the part. Caryl the chameleon, who ever it is that you want me to be, I will do my best, anyone... except the real me.

My Soul Longs After Thee

As the deer panteth for the water,

so my soul longs after thee

You alone are my hearts desire and I long to worship You.

You alone are my strength my shield

to you alone may my spirit yield.

You alone are my hearts desire

and I long to worship You.

The Clock Is Ticking

Time is running out and we still hide... why do we hide who we really are and put on a false smile pretending all is well with our soul.

Reaching out for the wrong things

Sometimes we do all the wrong things for the right reasons.

Blind Faith

Most of my work does not have a watermark, for your enjoyment, but please do not take advantage of that.

Fear is the opposite of Faith

Pretty Mermaid

By the light of the moon

Castles in the sky

Peace comes so quietly

As peace comes slowly, so my heart begins to lift.

I am not sure where I found this model, please if you recognise her, let me know and I will add the link.

Returning to truth

The light shines through all the darkness and I begin to search for what I once knew was truth.

Torn Apart

It is in the darkest hour of being torn appart with the truth, that I make new choices and begin a new journey to heal. We need to experience the loss, the pain, the anger the suffering before we are able to move forward.
Most of my nude models are from Marcus stock

Haunted

Haunted by the memories it is difficult to move forward.

Private torture

I know that I must find my own truth, but in my solitude I am tortured with sorrow and pain. Reminded that I have the Holy Spirit to comfort me, guide me, but I have lost all faith.

Conviction

My life is torn between confession and seeking forgiveness and wanting those who have hurt me, to hurt in the same way. I know that God is the judge of all things, but I want to see justice served on those who deserve it.

Good and Evil

Good and evil dwells within us... and we have the freedom of choice.
Model Nikki is Dawns daughter Aurora Dreams  

Fight or flight

The desire to fight back with everything I have with in me.... is overwhelming. I will not be destroyed.
Models Marcus Stock

 

Grief

Sometimes the grief is over whelming. I doubt that I will ever recover. My trust has gone and I don't know what tomorrow will hold.

Good days and bad

There are days that I feel positive, I have faith and I have high expectations and there are days when I feel hopeless.

New Beginnings

Vulnerable, afraid.... I will have to learn to trust.

But not before clawing my way through to the other side. The fight for survival is long and hard but I know that I can get there with my determination and the support of those who love me.
Models: Marcus Stock

A quiet walk

I needed to walk alone with what ever fantasy I could create. All I wanted was peace, the pain to subside...but that would not come for a long time. I didn't care that I was escaping the pain... I had to.

Guilt and Condemnation

Guilt really did consume me. I felt guilty about everything, the choices I had made, my failed marriage, my children and most of all I felt guilty that I had failed God. I knew Him... or I thought I did. I had a relationship with Him, but I continued to make bad choices that would hurt me and my children... I hated myself.

Demonic Turmoil

My fight for survival was immense. I knew that somehow I had to separate the truth from the lies, but it was a struggle that went on for years. I felt naked, vulnerable and my guilt and self condemnation was consuming me.

Yes... this is just one of many.. and I put it in here to draw attention to the plight of others. My art work reveals the long journey to my own recovery. I have a way to express, but what of those who don't?

Two Faced

There were people who came to my home, who I entertained that were 'two faced'. They ate my food, enjoyed my home but had ulterior motives with my husband. Their masks fell from their pretty faces .....

They wait for men to rescue them... even if it is your husband.

Reaching for a dream

My work has changed so much over the years. In the darkest moments I always felt there was something out there that I would find that would bring me the peace that I so desperately was searching for, that seemed to be eluding me.

Vulnerable

The same model that has been used in my header and I know I will use her over and over again, but the message will change in time.

We all feel abandoned and alone at times, washed up on an a lonely beach somewhere that no one really cares about.

The reflection is done by making a duplicate copy turning it upside down, cutting the part that you need and pasting it onto the original. I always erase the duplicate copy down to 20% so that it looks like a reflection and not a mirror copy.

Soul Search

You can have my body but my soul belongs to God.

Sea Faerie

All my pictures mean something to me. In this photo the background was taken in Knysna. I was with my ex husband at the time and we were happy or so I thought. I started to do this manipulation because I liked the background, but it made me wonder about the purity of our relationship. I was always trying to please him and entice him and sell my soul for him.

The Forest Whispers

You will see this little dove feature a lot in my work. Might become boring but I love him. He represents the Holy Spirit to me, freedom, peace, healing  and most of all guidance.
Model was cut away from the background, hair extensions added, shading on the ground, lighting effect and dove added. Nicky is one of my favourite models.

My Secret Garden

Welcome to my secret garden.

When doing manipulations and using layers one always has to make things look realistic. Remembering where the light source is comming from, shadows and focal point. This was in the early stages so I was still learning how to create a shadow near her feet. She still looks like she is floating, stuck on... I am still learning.

Free Spirit

This was done in 2006 at a time when I was desperately trying to escape the pain I was going through at the time. I had dreams and visions of floating, flying, escaping. It was never finished but I liked where it was going.

Fire Fly

When I was working on this one it made me think of a Fire Fly at night, something I haven't see since I was in Zimbabwe years ago. The same model with different gradient layers. I love this one.

Dawn Wings

Nicky is a beautiful model in the UK. Her mother took this photo before I worked on the manipulation. The blending of her dress into the little rivulets from the water left on the beach made me think of sea fairies.

Earth

When I first started doing manipulations I had no idea how to remove a background so this was one of my earlier attempts. As time has gone by I have learned easier ways of doing things but in this particular picture the background from the model was removed with an eraser tool.
Model: Marcus Stock

This was a mistake! I was trying different layers and wanted to change the original colour by adding a filter but I clicked on something, not sure what and this was the result. Quite ethereal.